The thing is that I remember the times I feel like a different person like manic, paranoid, or very psychotic. Can somone remember their different alters?

Umm I don't know. I do, but I journal CONSTANTLY. Maybe I don't remember every detail about it, but I remember it happening. Probably moreso like I'm standing behind a foggy curtain watching it and the fog gets more thick at certain times and I can't see at all. Or watching as if it happened to someone else. Like last time I was psychotic, over the summer I remember talking, like I felt my mouth moving, but I have no idea what I was saying, like the words weren't connected to my brain. The only thing I remember is how the nurses looked at each other. It was one of those "this girl is really not okay" looks. The big eyes at each other. I remember thinking to myself "I don't understand, I don't understand why they're looking at each other like that.

I think of my system as like an electrical circuit, firing information from one part to the other, but some parts don't always get the information. They're a burnt out bulb. They don't fire out information themselves. The electricity has to go a certain way, through certain parts to be labeled as "safe". I call them protectors. There are more then I am aware of.