I do some of the same stuff and have recently explored why I do what I do...most of it comes from old childhood events, and I think that I might have borderline personality disorder as a result. I have very intense rages that are out of proportion to what provokes the anger, and I will take a similar situation to the one you've described above with regard to my boyfriend and convince myself that he doesn't really love me, wants to avoid spending more time with me, etc. and I can get so angry...only to calm down later and wonder what the hell was I thinking/doing. I even imagine different things that might eventually break us up so that I can start preparing now for the eventual. Some folks on here have been very helpful and have suggested that the right therapist may be the key to working on this situation. What StrongerMan has written above would also apply to me and I hate that I do this...I'm sure that my boyfriend is often left scratching his head and saying "WTF"? I'm sure that on some level I'm testing him to see if he's like my father, but I'm also pushing him into anger...and this will pretty much ensure a break up if I keep going along like this. So, whenever you feel like you're about to rage at him for something you know you'll regret later...log on to this site and see if the additional perspective helps...it's helped me ever since I joined a month or so ago.