Quote:
Originally Posted by learningtoaccept
This is a tough difference between us. I am working on getting meds for my social phobia and will be starting a group in February. It's just that we spend a lot of time together and he likes to spend his free time socializing as much as possible. We had a small argument the other day because he took me to his friend's party and when we left I told him I would not be returning to the next one. I had to explain my social phobia that night, so it's a new piece of information to him. It doesn't matter what we are doing though, we could be shopping in another city and he somehow knows the people working in the stores. And then I have to stand uncomfortably beside him while he has a conversation, which I've told him I don't want to do and he suggested I "join in the conversation." So, I guess he still has a hard time understanding how it makes me feel. I know I personally have to work on it though, so what can I do right now to help?
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Hi, Sorry about your social avoidance. I am a social person and have
not had problems with talking to others. However, putting yourself
in the shoes of your partner; how do you think he feels about having his
socialability pulled out from under him? I was married to an anti-social person for many years. He was usually spoiling my good times with leaving
parties and such early. I kept us social, with lots of dinner parties and lots of card parties. He got over a lot of this anti-social problem after a time.
Once you know other people, I think it would be easier. I don't think your being uncomfortable while he is conversing with others is particularly necessary. Think of him, and his having a good time instead of being so
drawn within yourself around other people.
One person suggested talking to the clerks at dept stores or at the grocers, would be good practice for you. I do that often and have never
had someone snub me while engaging them in conversation. Either that or get a big sign to hang around your neck saying "
S__T, YOU'RE NOT GOING TO TALK TO ME ARE YOU?" LOL, just kidding of course, but do realize that an awful lot of people will consider you a snob.