my session is next monday. I've been on a therapy break for nearly a month.

the first three weeks, my brain was moving fast... thinking, shifting, learning, changing.... it's been like that for the past couple of months ... and happening so fast that I just needed to let go of any fear about the changes and hang on for the ride. and I've done that and I've grown and learned so much about me ....

but in this last week, that has finally slowed down... (or I've finally caught up to it) ...

when my sessions start up again, I feel that 'it's' gonna start up again... the thinking, shifting, learning, changing... . especially now that I feel that we we've mostly been working on the surface (no superficial)... and now we need to go deeper - start peeling back more layers. the hard stuff. the scary stuff. i'm ready to do that...

...... i started to cry as i type this ... and i think what I am feeling is fear.

what the heck am i afraid is going to happen when I walk in to her office next week?

thank you for reading this ... don't know why I wrote this other than i guess i just needed to not feel alone with this. i can do some of the work w/out her ... it's just a little harder and a lot lonelier.