I once wrote a note to my therapist. It was short and sweet. I wanted to tell her how much I appreciated her and that I could tell it was not just a job to her. She got bit choked up and said, "How did you do that?" Meaning, how did I get to her emotionally. She tries hard not to be emotional. I didn't tell her that I loved her. That is just not me. I am not a huggy, emotional person like that. Even if I was, I am not sure I could/would say that to her. There are few people that I would actually say, "I love you" to.

One other time, I wrote her a long letter to express my appreciation for all of the things she had done for me over the past year. It was really hard for me to get that 'sappy' and it was hard to read it in front of her. She came and sat by me on the couch to give me support to get through it. She also wrote me a note before I left to tell me how much she appreciated the letter.

I emailed her later that night and asked her if she would write something in an email so that I would have it in black and white if I ever started feeling (stupid) for allowing myself to get so sappy with her. I was afraid that I may lose the note she wrote me and I wanted to save her response on my computer.

She did that for me. I still have the hand written note and the email. I go back and read it from time to time just to remind myself that she does have emotions! She just does not show them when we are in session. I honestly do feel that she cares about her clients, but I do tell her that she has a 'poker face'. It is hard for me to tell what she is thinking sometimes. If I really want to know, I will ask her. If she seems cold and 'clinical', I will tell her that. After being with her for almost two years, I am pretty open and honest with her about things like this.

I can see why your therapist's response seemed cold to you. Had my therapist not went out of her way to make me feel that it was okay to share what I did with her, I would have felt like you did. Too ashamed to ever go back and face her again. Come to think of it, I do think that I struggled with that for a while. That's why it was so important for me to have the note and email from her to remind me that what I did was okay and nothing to be embarrassed about.