That is what I am saying; you cannot know unless you ask her! It is her job to tell you about herself, what she wants, not for you to "guess". If she does not want to talk about it, she will/should tell you that when you ask her. If she does want to talk, she'll talk. We are "allowed" and it is right to ask others questions, but we have to remember, they do not have to answer if they do not want to or they may find the question more personal than they like, etc. That's how we learn about others, by talking to them and, at first, that might mean asking some questions about them.

I imagine for you it is scary because of her reaction last time? That was hers, there was nothing there you should have "known" before or did wrong. Her response probably did not feel very good to you and now I'm telling you to be vulnerable again, put yourself out there again to ask her now, what she wants/needs/is going on with her. She could get ugly again, you don't know but that is always about her, not about you! You are concerned and that does not change into something ugly just because her response is ugly! In other words, you are acting in good faith.