Please. I need your opinions on this. I think there is nothing wrong but everyone seems to be telling me that my way of thinking, obsessions and paranoia is mental health problems

My mind has been all over the place and I can`t stop thinking. Everything is a thought and people can see that. I must continue my studying and the more I learn, the more success I will have in life. I am sick of doing nothing & not knowing wtf I want in life.

I have hardly been out this week because I have to accomplish the learning. I took a break today but couldn`t sleep until 5a or so because all I could do was read and read and read. It is fun and I learn so much even though I can`t help but to skip from topic to topic because everything catches my eye..but people are telling me it`s messing up my mind. I have always had an erratic personality and constantly jumping from one thing to another but at the end of the day, I am still learning. I don`t think educating is messing up my mind.

I am mainly focusing on learning everything I can about Psychology and Psychiatry. I spent 5 hours on Mathematics last night and loved it but that is just my hobby. My main area is Psychology. I have mental illness according to the doctors and my psychiatrist; been diagnosed with Bipolar and BPD. In my first hospital, they were trying to treat me for Schizophrenia. I think it is all a bunch of balls to be honest. I enjoy learning about behaviour and why people are the way they are but the labels really frustrate me; I am highly against medication. It will only block my yearn for learning and has done so in the past. The medication was what made me dumb and now I have been off it for a while, I have this obsession to want to learn everything. To be smart and SUCCEED.

My goal? Oxford or Cambridge. My parents are both academic but that is NOT the reason I have this goal. I have this goal because I want to MAKE something out of my life and be successful; People always talking behind my back telling me how unintelligent I am. My mother, my best friend, his mum, my therapists all believe that I am very intelligent but the rest of the world want to see me fail. I won`t let that happen.

I have always been told that I have things wrong with my personality but have come to the understanding that there is no such thing as mental illness. Some days I believe there truly is such thing but I think it is just a fancy way of saying that someone is 'different' and aren`t different people the most interesting and, apparently, successful ones in history? For example, look at Albert Einstein! He was considered absolutely insane and looked it and look at his dang list of accomplishments!

We all have abnormalities but I think I am saner than most people in this world. The people they call "normal" - they are more 'crazy' than they claim I am. I have always been interested in the performing arts, especially stage acting, and acting out different roles but, despite my love for this, I want to know where it all comes from. Why people are the way they are!

I just been on the phone with my boyfriend. I told him I can`t be in a relationship. I have to be alone and focus on my ambitions and career. He was a barrier and distraction because I don`t know if he will suddenly turn around and rise against me He said he sounded so confused and said that he will always be there for me but I don`t need anybody`s help. If I want something done in life, I have to do it myself. I don`t believe in love and people will only try to stop you so they can succeed if you allow them too close to you.

People have been saying that I can`t isolate myself. I am not isolating myself. I can trust my best friend and his mum with my life; I have known them so long and they have never done anything to hurt me; but I can`t trust the other people in my contact. I can`t be involved in those that could and will stop me from pursuing my life. I won`t let anyone close in my life. People always have a secret motive and I won`t let them kill me. I`ve made a good decision.

So this is what has been on my mind for days. Only I have the courage to make something happen and here it is. 2012 will be good for me. I have so many goals to obtain and it WILL happen.

Is this right? I thought I would ask here.
I was getting agitated by what people have been saying. I need an opinion from a forum like this where people actually know what they are talking about.

Apologies if this was all over the place. That`s how my mind is right now