Don't accept any more of that abuse. If sitting down and discussing this doesn't work, then yes, therapy is needed for her to learn how she doesn't need to attack you via outbursts just to get her point across.

Acknowledging her frustration, giving each other time to talk, even agreeing to disagree can be worked out with a 19 yo, imo. She needs to learn to attack the problem with all that energy, not her mom! TC