I have some recent insights here that may help. I, too, have always had difficult relationships with other women. I am 52, straight, and married.
All my close female friends, even since childhood, have turned out to be abusive (verbally and sometimes physically).
I worked out that I was repeating a pattern of relating to my mother, who is a classic narcissist. So, I was attracted to exciting, unstable, women, who used me for what they could get and then moved on once they got it, leaving me feeling rejected. I didn't feel worthwhile unless I was desperately trying to please these people.
Since I had therapy, and stopped the impossible task of trying to please my unpleasable mother, I have looked for female friendship, but not with much luck. I meet other women at work, school, socially, in sport and through parent's groups. All the nice, caring, intelligent women seem to me to be - yes - incredibly boring. I am so used to the ups and downs of a drama queen (thanks mother!) that I find it difficult to persevere with the "bores", who are actually the quality people I deserve to have as friends. And underneath their "boring" exterior, I'm sure they're very interesting people, much more interesting than the drama queens.
My most recent "bust-up" with a close girlfriend took 12 years! 12 years of insults and abuse! I feel really stupid, I couldn't even see it. I sent her a xmas card, and she didn't even send me one!
I still can't get away from my mother. She came to visit recently, and since then I've received numerous phone messages, emails, snail mail, and facebook messages. All about - guess who - her and her latest "dramas"!
So, at the moment, I have no close female friends. I am super-careful about getting close to any women. Yet I have always had fabulous friendships with men. No problems at all. I have two fairly sane brothers, and I have been happily married for 20 years. I feel at ease with men. I hope, one day, to feel at ease with women. Normal, nice ones, not abusive ones.
Anyway, I just thought that my experience may be of interest to you.
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