...damn it!...still thinkin' about this one..it's so relevant to bpd.

impulsive addictive behaviour go hand in hand with it!

in a way I feel what I wrote above is rubbish...but it depends I guess what the circumstances are. It could be seperated into... boredom/no crisis..or...stress/crisis....(urges)
with alcohol say..
if I am bored/no crisis ..I will have little trouble not drinking. I say to myself.."I will have a drink tomorrow"....and tomorrow comes and I say it again. I basically manipulate myself and I know I am doing it and I am pleased.
I just keep putting it off until other things become more important.

if I am stress/crisis...I could have Ghandi ask me all the direct questions in the world and I will 'over-ride' the lot of them.

it happened a few weeks ago. Could I have stopped it?..I didn't wait around to find out!

What I did find out, however, is that my bpd related addictive behaviour once activated...goes quickly from an attempt to self medicate to a pure form of self harm...regardless of whether I was bored or losing my mind at the start.

I have struggled with addictions as a form of coping for many years and I am still learning.
I believe it's important that in the event of a relapse of whatever it may be...not to punish SELF...be kind to SELF during and after.

anyhow