Eventually the phantasy stage will be worked through, and you'll feel ok about T, its a place where you see them for who they really are and not just a projection of your needs. Its a bit disappointing at first, its like you'vr lost something that was once a comfort, like an adult who remembers the comfort of a dummy but no longer albe to get the comfort and feelin depressed and not wanting to be an adult if life iffers no comfort. But this is just the inbetween stage, when through it you realise that you have a much better control of your inner life and amuch better sense of who you are and how the seperation between 2 people is actually a nice place to be because all the longings and unspoken fears have passed and you feel safe about yourself and the other and get to enjoy the time alone and the joy of seeing the other again.