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Originally Posted by Lost_In_Thought
I'm SO frustrated with myself. Every day I wake up and think today will be the day that I don't get high. And I feel really good about it and I'm really confident it will happen.
But then, as the day progresses, I start thinking, oh it won't hurt to just get a 'little' high. This will be the last time. Or I will think it's not that big of a deal, I'm functioning, I go to work, do all the things I need to do, so what's wrong with getting high. Then I cave in, I get high, then I feel like **** about it.
I just keep making excuses. And every day I feel like a failure.
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there's a term used with alcohol and drug dependence. it's called "denial". we minimize our problem and end up where we left off....then say "how did that happen?" here are some of the reasons we use to justify or fool ourselves to use/drink again-
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Common signs and symptoms of drug addiction
You’ve lost control over your drug use. You often do drugs or use more than you planned, even though you told yourself you wouldn’t. You may want to stop using, but you feel powerless.
Your life revolves around drug use. You spend a lot of time using and thinking about drugs, figuring out how to get them, and recovering from the drug’s effects.
You continue to use drugs, despite knowing it’s hurting you. It’s causing major problems in your life—blackouts, infections, mood swings, depression, paranoia—but you use anyway.
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http://helpguide.org/mental/drug_sub..._treatment.htm
but there is a solution. willpower doesn't work so what does? i recommend a 12 step program of recovery. NA or AA. there are other useful programs but AA worked for me. the support of others either trying to stop or those who have succefully stopped gave me hope that i could stop too. and i did! having the desire and willingness to change were the keys for me to be free of the vicious cycle i was in feeling there was no way out.
hope this may help you.
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Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle.
The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours..~Ayn Rand
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