We all want to be strong, but sometimes we can't tough it out as you say, no matter how hard we try. And if we don't get the help that is offered we go deeper into that pit, and it's harder to climb out. I know inpatient can be lame with the groups, and we colored too(I'm 50 and we colored) but it did help.
Sending good thoughts to you today. The strong people are the ones willing to seek help, the weak give up so they don't have to fight, you are stronger than you think.