Sorry to hear you're not feeling well right now. From this and your other posts, it sounds like you're doing all the right things. Trying to enjoy time with family, getting some sunshine, going to counseling. This can be a difficult time of year for many people. Between the holidays and winter, I've been having some difficulty also. Not sure where you are, but the weather and available light might also be a factor for you. The lack of daylight has a profoundly physical effect on our brains. You can't prevent it with willpower alone any more than willpower can prevent a cold. It takes physical intervention to combat some causes of depression. Whether it's in the form of light therapy, medication, and such. Not to say that I'm recommending you go on medication, but don't feel like you have to tough this out on your own.

But I know the frustration of being well and having the bad feelings return. Don't let the alarming thoughts take over and understand that it's the depression talking. Continue to reach out to people in your life and come and post here. You've found your way out of the darkness before and you can do it again. You're not alone.