That sentence made me cry. It's obviously touching on something very important.

Yet I am still not going to ask for help. So much for poking me with a stick.... I am so stuck that I think someone needs to nudge me using the entire tree.

In the midst of all of my email mess, I did manage to tell T how much trouble I have asking for help and how it makes me feel panicked to the point where I can barely think about it. He said he thinks we should talk about it. So at least I've put it out there even if I can't manage to to ask for help. T now knows it's an issue. I now know it's an issue.