Same for me. Top of the class in school & university, won prestigious scholarships and government awards etc. Now? Still at entry level in my company after 12 years and at age 38, never promoted, and nothing to do with what I studied.

So, Melissa... I feel like all that super-duper education amounted to nothing anyway. I've seen people with a lot less do a lot better, even at a later age and outside the mainstream routes.

Having said that I do most definitely know exactly what you mean - I brood constantly about my 'wasted potential' and indulge in loads of nostalgia for my glory years and so on. The thing is, it's a waste of time. People do the best that they can in any given moment in time, and I tell myself that, for whatever reason, I simply could not have done other than I did.

BP took my PhD and my dreams from me, sure. I feel I have 'downgraded' my life. But it is useless to dwell on it, and better to make the most of the now.

You have already at age 20 been through more than some people go through in an entire lifetime. Cut yourself some slack. You are right, you are young and you have time to build things up again in the way that you want. Consider that people make career changes, and go back to education, and move continents, and do all sorts of things at all sorts of ages. There is no 'blue print' - anything goes.

Good luck to you Melissa - you are already impressive.