this reminded me of a dream I had a few months into therapy. My T and I had a project to work on together. It was to reconstruct a carrot from all the chopped up pieces lying on the cutting board. I gave it a try and just put the pieces together in a haphazard fashion. Didn't look likes carrot at all. Then he gave it a try and he put them back in the proper order but it was kind of twisted out of shape.

When I told him about the dream, I told him I felt like the carrot. And that I just wanted to be a normal carrot. The second I spoke those words, I said "No, no, no", I don't want to be normal at all - that's just too boring. I just want to be me, the real me, not some mask or bunch of coping mechanisms or a bundle of haphazard personalities all living in the same body. (I don't mean multiple personalities in the clinical sense, more like states of being, shifting attitudes, love/hate, content/suicidal).

Why a carrot? By the time I become 'me' I fear i will be a vegetable by then