I find it really strange that your T won't read any written communication from you, especially as you find it so hard to talk - I'd have thought ANY way of being able to open up and communicate with your therapist would be welcomed, at least to get the ball rolling... But then, I'm not a psychologist Perhaps your T has her reasons, and they might well be good ones - but I also understand how you'd feel hurt by this, I know I would be. I guess it comes down to whether you trust your T is doing the right thing by you or not. Whether you can accept the way she's working with you. Only you know if it's a good fit or if it's time to move on to someone who might understand you better?

At least you got those feelings out by writing, hey? I hope you keep writing. I've been writing out my feelings lately, and I've found it's helped me some too.