It's my understanding (and this is totally new to me so it's worth exactly what you're paying for it ) that since we're human, we have feelings. They exist and affect our lives, and that's why they matter. They're there and need to be acknowledged. Feelings drive a lot of my destructive behavior because many of my coping strategies are things I developed on my own as a child. They helped at the at the time, but cause me issues as an adult.

Here's a copy and paste straight from my T:

The better we are at labeling and communicating about feelings, typically, the better we are at coping with them.

Being “Healthy” means being able to feel something while at the same time being able to manage impulses (behavior) through use of reasoning (thinking).

I think I remember you said you get agitated after your sessions and often feel the need to punch things or hurt yourself? That could possibly fall under managing impulses.