Hello,

I've had troubles with depression for a long time and have learned to cope with it pretty well. The first depression I had that completely paralyzed me was my first semester in college, just after high school. I had trouble attending classes and completing work. I thought about suicide enough to begin preparing for it, I stopped. I am glad now that I stopped. At the time I was numb and kinda indifferent. It's like I stopped because I was too depressed to follow through, maybe. I dunno.
I know it got better. The real world is different than college and high school. In the real world, lots of people suffer with depression like symptoms every day, as they deal with troubled families, difficult jobs, not enough money and health problems. In the real world, people understand depression and misery. It seems they know how to cope with it also. I take medicine for depression also. I have therapy regurally as well.
In school, it seemed popularity and fun were high priorities, as well as studies. I find that being around "happy go lucky" folk while miserable and slightly desperate from depression, was a very bad situation for me. I received a medical dismissal from college.
I get by these days without a degree. I am a senior at a local university and I will finish if it is appropriate to do so, someday. I clean offices and take care of my family and myself. I enjoy playing the guitar and reading memoirs. I attend church, though I don't really "believe" to enjoy the fellowship. I attend 12 step meetings to stay away from unhealthy lifestyles also.

I think you should know that there is hope. I believe that life is challenging(and rewarding) with or without a degree in america today. I think you should know that there are options. You should seek professional help also. Don't do anything desperate. Suicide is a permanant solution to a temporary problem.

ENDURE...

Peace, A.