Hi people. It's Sezzie.
I haven't been able to have many appointments with my pschologist or psychiatrist because they're just so busy. I'm really freaking out and am wondering what in the hang i am doing. The thing that i am most struggling with at the moment is bulimia and i'm vomiting up blood at the moment and things are really screwed up! I really need some help big time! I'm just not getting what i need from the people that are supposed to be wanting me to get better. I know that my problems are my responsibility and i do own them- but i'm just so frustrated and scared about facing it on my own. I literally have no-one around me at the moment to face my problems with. I need some help and guidance with the bulimia pronto! I have had big probs with depression, suicidality, and all the rest for the last few years. I'm 21- and i just want to get on with my life and be able to live a good one. I want to be able to get through a day without thinking harmful thoughts. I don't know really. I need some advice on how to approach my therapist in an assertive and honest way about getting referred on to an eating disorder place! because there's no way in hell i'm going to get better with the support that i have at the moment! I do have an appointment tomorrow (thank goodness)- but i'm really angry at that person- i need to calm down and collect my thoughts intelligently before i go and speak to her about how i feel though. If anyone has any suggestions on how i can approach her that would be most appreciated. If anyone has any general advice on how to overcome bulimia- that would be awesome! I feel like such a big walking problem at the moment! I hope i don't explode and say the wrong things at my therapist tomorrow. I think she's a wonderful therapist and all- but she's just too busy and seems to be unavailable a lot. I hope i don't sound too demanding! but i really really need some help! Because i've just kind of been left to deal with coping with my problems (and trying to build up some new coping mechanisms) by myself it just kind of feels like my probs aint that important- you know- that what i'm going through doesn't warrant that much of her time! Anyway- that's enough about that.
How are you all doin today?
I hope you guys out there have enough support- I feel so supported by you all- it's great- and my love and hugs go out to you! Thanks for your help people!

Sezzie