Quote:
Originally Posted by frowningdown
Totally! The only place I can be real is here, where I am anonymous. I too avoid everybody. Hurt people hurt people. I am a hurting person. I do not want to hurt anyone else. I am also tired of being hurt. To the point where I can not take it anymore. The only way to avoid hurting and being hurt is to avoid people.
No friends, no lovers, no relationships I can not control, which means no relationships.
I do allow my family in my life, but that is it, other than the T. People are mean. Even when we don't intend to be.
Sigh.
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Hey there Frowning,
My mind has definitely gone to the place of wondering "Is it maybe better to just be alone because I can't seem to do relationships (romantic, family, or friendships) well at all?" Even when everything inside of me wants to isolate and withdrawal, I do the opposite because:
1. Isolating and giving up on relationships keeps us in our BPD spiral--thinking no one cares and we are worthless.
2. I need to treat myself the way I want others to treat me. I deserve good friendships and romantic relationships. So do you! But sometimes our BPD gets in the way and we have unrealistic expectations and go from 0 to best friends in 1 hour. We deserve respect always, but relationships take time.
Have you been in any DBT or 12 Step groups? 12 Step is free and there are meetings everywhere. Even if it is AA, you will find people who are struggling and maybe begin to see how to relate to people who are trying to better themselves.
Don't give up on relationships! They are worth it and the pain does end!
Serenity,
B1