Then she is not hearing you. I don't think that every therapist we consult is the one for us. I went through four therapist before I found the one that "fit" for me. The first was a good fit but she was one year from retirement and we didnt' realize that my issues were going to take more than a year. Silly me! I should have know.

Anyway, what is her response to your expressions of frustration and rage? Usually one's rage gets some kind of response? I know it does from my therapist. She doens't respond "in kind" but she comments on the level of emotion that what she has said or what I have said raises. Do you have responses to what is said or what you say? Or is everything pretty bland and unremarkable? I think it's pretty telling if a therapeutic relationship is bland.

To me it means that either the client or the therapist is working really really hard to keep things "quiet and calm". ANd believe me, I know that it can be either party. If you're not invested in making things calm and unremarkable, find a new therapist who likes to stir the waters. Believe me, I figure you like the waters stirred and roiling, find a therapist who isn't bothered by that . . .one who calmly and cooly comments on the fact that things seem unsettled. It can be very disconcerning but also very awakening!