You said you hate having feelings and I think you agreed w Skysblue about having feelings of delight. How do you hate having feelings of delight?

Is the reason people want you to express feelings more just for their own purposes, because they like doing it? Or do people say that the reasons you went to therapy could be helped by expressing emotions more?

Do you want to say what the reasons you went to therapy are? I remember that you can't remember your childhood and you have extreme desire to hurt yourself after therapy, but those alone don't seem like reasons you would go to therapy (although they are pretty extreme symptoms).