Quote:
Originally Posted by My kids are cool
My T must be sick of hearing me say, "it was no big deal." He stopped me at one point and asked me if I'd think that if it happened to my daughter. I almost threw up. I had to tell him he is never allowed to mentioned my child again.
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Wow, this REALLY puts a lot in perspective for me. Yikes.
I'm a minimizer 100%. I'm fine, you're fine, we're all fine. I'm breathing, I'm well fed, I have a comfy bed to sleep in....I mean, JUST LOOK at all those poor, starving children in Africa.... until my anxiety kicks in full throttle and I can't see straight. I haven't even really gotten into anything deep or significant with my T yet. I haven't accepted myself or my past/childhood; I barely even think about it (willful ignorance anyone?). I can't give myself permission that I deserve to be there just as the next person. I can't yet love myself enough to see that I'm worthy of peace in my life and in my heart. I'm in survival mode, just as I've always been. I feel unable to live any other way; I just don't know HOW to do that. It's like, NOT living in survival mode is the epitome of what "normal" is to me. Hopefully, with T, I'll get there. But I'm very impatient. Hopefully he won't get sick of me or terminate me before I get to where I need to be.
