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Old Dec 30, 2011, 07:10 AM
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Elder
 
Member Since: Oct 2006
Location: Everywhere and Nowhere
Posts: 6,588
Just had a thought I wanted to run by you... Maybe the "crush" is actually admiration? Perhaps those parts of you see qualities in your T that you would like to see in yourself?

A natural part of teen development is when they find adult role models. Because of hormones or prior abuse history, this stage can lead to confusion and sexualization of the role model. It is up to the role model to help the teen see that it is ok to admire traits in others without sexualizing the relationship.

Can you maybe make a list of all the traits you have liked in any of the Ts you had where you had this pattern? Do NOT list the name of the T. Just put down the traits in a very random and natural way. You will think of one person and say maybe "Always greeted me with a smile" and then think of someone else and say "Paid close attention to what I said"

After you are done making your list, make another list with your name on top.
Go through each item on the first list and write out what you see in yourself, or what you would like to see. Example: "I tend to great others with a smile" "I would like to learn how to listen better to others"

Just thinking here :-)

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Thanks for this!
rainbow8