TRIGGER FOR RSA ITEM!!

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Does anyone else with a history of RSA have any information about this item? I am doing EMDR about it and last night I finally understood and saw the entire situation. I have DID thanks to the RSA and CSA, so this was HUGE for me to put together these pieces.

The memory was of feeding the hogs meat marked with a black X on the wax freezer paper. The perp who had me feed that meat to the hogs is someone I suspect may have been disposing of human remains at the time. Based on the flashback and history of the perp, my T and I both highly suspect this but I can't prove anything of course. I was the one who also had to clean up the slop at the end of the day and go burn the leftovers in the fire pit.

We ended up butchering the hogs and the perp split the meat with his "friend" who was "helping" him feed the hogs. I suspect that friend was also involved in RSA stuff with my perp.

The major thing that hit me last night was that I ATE that pig who I think ate human parts!!! I feel like that is something the perp did on purpose for some reason dealing with the RSA. Any insight at all from anyone knowing about this type of thing?