Welcome too PC Holy!
WOW....first you need to give yourself credit for being SI free for such a period of time! I am so sorry you are going through so much right now at this time. I think living a day at a time is a good way too view things because today will be yesterday and tomorrow will be a new day. Please feel free to post when you feel the need to get things out. It is only human that we have the need to release our stress and this forum is a very healthy way of doing it and getting support.
HUGS
Cher