I had a few good weeks, the cloud had lifted and I thought finally it was behind me and I was going to be free of it.

Then a load of pressures IRL started to increase, financial, family, work, house and I decided to cancel some T appointments to save money. At that point I was feeling OK, but when the pressures at work increased I ended up e-mailing my T and we did have a session 10 days ago.

I know I am very low right now, I am even aware of a complete slump physically. I feel like I am stuck in life and it is hard to get myself back on track. Then today my mother called me and told me the doctor thinks my dad has cancer. I have a very difficult relationship with my father, but it just feels like there will now be even more demands on me emotionally and I have no capacity left.

I have not been posting on PC so much since feeling like this, but instead posted on another forum for low mood, but that was making me feel more low.

So part of the reason I have decided to post here is to acknowledge that I do shut off from people when life is hard for me and I am trying to do it differently by posting on a site that I have been a member of for a while. Part of me doesn't want to share this, wants to hide away, but I guess at the end of the day this is an anonymous site and I don't have to face you all in the flesh.