I called sister last night, and told her I was hurt by her presenting the unwrapped mashed boxes to me in front of everyone, and saying, "Here's your present from last year." Her response to me, on the phone, was "this is SO wrong."
Even though I was truly hurt, and had not slept for two nights, I also feel I was wrong to tell her my feelings. I also realize these feelings of fault on my part...stem from an upbringing in which I was never allowed to express disagreement, anger or hurt. Sister and I were always shamed for disagreeing, fighting (she often beat me up!), and made to hug and make up no matter how much I felt violated. And in my parents' eyes, it was
always MY fault, me, being two years older, but weaker physically than my sister.
I realize too that this phone confrontation I did last night may create a permanent rift with my sister and her family. I even thought today of trying to call her and apologize for revealing my feelings.
A stronger person would probably have just dismissed this Christmas fiasco and gone on with her life.