Right. You mentioned CSA before, but said you weren't sure it was technically A. My T says that children need adults to help them make sense of confusing feelings. Such a simple statement! I remember being in the basement with my dad, we had a player piano left behind by the previous owners, and we were playing and singing Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. I remember was crying because I couldn't understand why they were being mean to Rudolph. I swear that was the last time my dad ever talked to me like that. He couldn't handle it when I got upset. Ever. Both parents just freaked out and got nasty and would tell me to stop doing whatever I was doing if it was upsetting in some way, to me or them.

It's not emotions that are the problem, it's emotional regulation. So this person was taking you into chaos. That - apart from the ugliness? - is what is so damaging? What you were describing about how you handle your students issues shows you are learning emotional regulation skills - I would describe it for myself as rebuilding the part of the brain that was originally lost to chaos, lost to the forest? - now it's being developed.

Is there a full moon? Stuff is HAPPENING here! Or does this happen every new year? Wow! Zang! Zip! Zowie!