i just saw my psychiatrist and we were talking about depression from unresolved issues and biological deepression. i showed him some of what i've written here and he said this is clearly biological. is that a good or a bad thing? i know that the meds should be doing something - heck - i'm on 5 different meds - and high doses of them. i feel like i'm lost. as the session went on, i sort of had a break down, my body curling up and squeezing tight, my hands in fists, held tightly to my chest, just trying to squeeze my whole body tight, crying. he was patient and supportive, i could tell he cared. i want to curl up like that again my body squeezed tight, and just cry, but i'm afraid i'll scare my husband. have you heard about those weighted blankets autistic kids use - i think it would be soothing. there's this pain inside me that keeps building up, a pressure inside me.
i'm sorry - my thoughts keep jumping around...
does anyone get a dry mouth from their meds? when i breathe thru my mouth, it gets dry and i get real bad breath.
i'm not alone - but feel so lonely.
i just don't want to do this any more. it would be better if i was never born - now when i die, there are ppl that it will hurt - not my intention. i don't think i could kill myself - but i do wish it would happen...