I was really hoping to get 2011 out of the way and look forward to a better 2012 and now this with my father has happened. Obviously this is impacting on my mum as well as she is the only person I have IRL that I share even a small bit of what goes on for me - now I feel it will be unfair of me to share any of my stuggles with her - my father will be her focus and quite rightly so.

I don't remember if I have ever posted all that has happened to me in the last 7 years - you know that saying about a broken mirror and 7 years bad luck? Someone actually asked me the other week if I had broken a mirror - From my first son almost dying at birth,to my second baby being swapped (got him back), to my divorce, to having to sell my beloved horse and leaving my lovely home, to my ex sister in law making false accusations against my brother and getting him arrested, to him emigrating to the USA, to me being made redundant, to my father being seriously ill 3 years ago and us being called to the hospital on 3 separate occasions as they thought he was not going to make it, to my aunt dying 2 years ago, to my dog and Grandfather dying this year (my dog on the morning we were leaving for a holiday - was already having to cut the holiday short because of my Grandfathers funeral) and a whole host of things in between and before. So sometimes it really does feel that someone somewhere has it in for me - I have told T that it feels like an endurance test at times.

But thank-you all for your posts - it has helped knowing there are people out there and maybe it will help seeing my T on Tuesday.