Thank-you Leo and Butterfly for your suggestions and help. I really appreciate you taking time to respond to my post. I really do not have any other family close by. They are all 170 miles away. My stepdaughter is actually very supportive and agrees with me. She is afraid of her brother and sort of ignores him most of the time. Since she feels that she is the brunt of his anger.
My stepson is not an addict as far as I know-although he uses medical marijuana, which I am no fan of either. However there is a set of recovery groups that are sponsored by a consortium of churches in our region that I am going to look into. I am almost afraid to go though. I would probably need to do it without telling anyone at least at first or I would probably catch heck.
I am continuing to talk to my husband when we are alone, but he is in a lot of denial. I am wondering what I can do to break through. Also he travels a lot for work and is not always around. My nature is to avoid conflict wherever possible, it has just been pretty hard to do lately.
I feel like I should be able to make things better. I work hard to be compassionate and caring The more I try the less appreciated I feel.