Firstly...well done on such a good recovery. It's really good to see how far you've come, and I can tell from your post that you really think in the 'DBT Way', I long for the day I can do the same.

As for the past being a blur, that is most likely due to a few factors. The biggest being that the past 3 years have been so traumatic and such a rollercoaster ride...that your brain (mainly the Limbic System and Temporal Lobe) automatically chooses to try and push them towards the back of the areas controlling memory. Along with that, bipolar disorder does interfere with memory, and so do medications - therefore the times in which you bipolar were worse, are more a blur and less recallable than times in reasonable mental functioning.

It's totally normally, most of memories whilst being in a psychiatric unit are also quite blurry...and the ones I can relive in first person I would much rather forget.

Well done though. You've done tremendously in getting where you are now.

RB ♥