Rapunzel,

I read your post and was struck by your Ts words. I know everyone is saying she has abused you, and they probably are right in a way. But sometimes relationships go wrong in T, for what ever reasons. We can find that we push our T to make things better. That we test our T to see if they will stay. Sometimes we can get so embroiled in the relationship (often the most important one in our lives) and get carried away with the small details and forget the bigger picture.

Im saying this because the relationship I have with my T is going through a crisis at the moment, truth is it has been in crisis for some time. And i have pushed her to the edge, made demands and oh I could go on. What im saying is that it might be that something of what you are doing in the relationship with your T has brought you both to this place.

When I read your Ts message it reads to me like a person who is exhaused, a person who has been trying, a person who is at a loss. It may mean that you guys have to sit down and have some real open conversations, some home truths. What is it you want from T and can she really give you it? It may well be that she cant but maybe you could work on what it means for you.

Im not saying you have done anything wrong to your T or that you deserve to be treated badly. Its just that if the relationship is important, and I suspect it is, then its definatley worth saving, but it might mean you may just have to give up some of your hopes on what you want from her.

If i have got this all wrong then im sorry. It just seems a bit similar to whats happening with my T at the moment and I thought I would share it.

Lots of love anbd best wishes always

atg