Wow,
I could have written your post myself! It's nearly impossible to find others IRL who truly understand the difficulties people with BPD have with relationships. I try to own what is my stuff/issues but don't always know. I also like to state the obvious and fail to see why people in 'higher' positions deserve deference or respect just because of their position. Your post helped me put into words what I have been feeling, so thank you! I'm impressed at your courage and your coping skills, and at the same time I hear your intense pain and know myself how painful interacting with others can be.

I wonder . . . Maybe we 'get it' and they don't? I think they need therapy (they=coworkers) for assertiveness training. Nothing like a good reframing to make myself feel better (haha). Take care!