I am a 21 year old female that has been suffering from depression for about 2 years and on meds(many) for a little over a year. I just recently got out of the army and yes, i went to war for 9 months. It really messed me up. I was married for 2 months before i got deployed. While i was gone my husband cheated on me with 7 girls. It was really hard for me to readjust when i got back. I also gained 55 lbs while in the army. I also aquired Binge-eating disorder and panic attacks. I ran out of my prescription of zoloft and wellbutrin about 10 days ago and i am expierencing withdarwl symptoms... dizzyness for 75% of every day, gastric probs, short temper and a horrible raging temper when i blow up, suicidal ideations(SEVERE), sweating and hot constantly, insomnia(it is 3:03 am right now), crying outburst which include me screaming, (no one is around when i do though or i scream at my husband), and i just feel like crap. Plus i am having relationship problems and am dealing with my low, i mean, no self-esteem, and eating disorder. I have a mental health appt. soon but not soon enough. I have no friends because i have pushed them all away, and my family doesnt understand me so i can't talk with them. All i am looking for is some friends that i can talk to online, because i don't like to go out in public because of the way i look. I used to be thin and pretty, now i am 200 lbs, and i see my self as unattractive. I am also looking for any advice or ways to cope. I never want to be on any kind of antidepressant, i have tryed several. I want to start taking supplements and st. johns wort. Right now i feel ok, but i only because i am pre occupied and keeping myself busy. But there is only so much i can do in my house to stay busy. I have books upon books about depression, eating disorders, panic, ,relationship probs, ,but i don't have any concentration to read them. BOTTOM LINE: I JUST WANT TO BE HAPPY AGAIN, I KNOW WE ALL DO. IF ANY ONE CAN HELP ME HELP MYSELF I WOULD GREATLY APPRIECIATE IT. I AM TIRED OF BEING TIRED AND SUICIDAL. i have never attempted suicide though.

PLEASE JUST HELP..............

Thank you and God Bless