I do not think there is any secret; we know when someone likes us and I don't give a rat's you-know-what about the other people T sees so judging T's liking of me against my imaginary them does not serve me? Preference how?

If you and T work well together, that's preference! That's communication and working to create something special that many people are not able to have, a good working relationship with another person. Think about the other people you love, like, work with. You know the one's you enjoy being around and who enjoy you. That does not happen every day. Working to make it happen with T and succeeding, that is what "special" is.