I am having constant on-going soreness in my back now, except when I lie down or recline in my chair. It was a very mild problem for years, but recently became much worse and incapacitating at times. I will get appropriate care for it. That was the stress that really triggered me.

It limits my time on the computer. It is so tiring just sitting straight in the chair at this desk. I would have more to say to the posters above, individually, if I felt less back fatigue/discomfort. Please know I truly appreciate all the posts and you all really helped me.

When I am sore like this, I tend to want to keep moving around and not stay in one position long. That helps the back. Well after reading the replies the other night, I got up a made the bed and TO MY OWN AMAZEMENT I did succeed in stopping the tailspin.

I had worked so hard to make my place nice for Christmas, I didn't want it all to go into disarray, which is what happens during a bad "tailspin." So I kind of did manage to pull myself up by my bootstraps. Now - this was an uncommon success for me. I attribute it, in very large measure, to the understanding I got here.

I will run out of an important med soon and have called twice to try and get a pdoc to write a script for me. It's a controlled substance (sleeping pill) so I have to get a hard-copy paper script to bring to the pharmacy. No luck these past few days getting a response. I WILL take the advice offered above and stop being so passive about just accepting being rescheduled and put to the bottom of the priority list.

HotTinRoof, yes - I am being dismissed because I am "well-behaved" and appear to be functioning okay. There is an administrative manager of the out-patient clinic who is very decent. I appealed to him once, when I needed more help than I was being given and was surprised at how helpful he tried to be. I am going to make an appointment to see him. AND - I will follow through with a certified letter about my inadeqate care and keep documenting what is not a reasonable level of services.

My functional capacity could be used by me to help me. Functioning fairly okay does not mean there is no real problem. I am not currently suicidal and I do not say this out of any desire to sound tragically afflicted: The majority of successful suicides are committed by persons with no history of any unsuccessful attempts. (At least, that's what I read on-line.) Often they are persons whose level of function caused no one to be overly concerned with their state of mind. President Lincoln's friends used to take turns doing one-on-one suicide watch over him, while he was conducting his leadership of the Union forces during the Civil War. He was extremely high functioning AND extemely depressed at the same time.

In no way, do I consider my problems remotely as burdensome as the weight that was on old Abe's shoulders. But I am not a person of his profound internal resources, either. My individual situation is what it is, and I have requested help in managing it for very good reasons.

Thank you all again.