I was so calm, like a mountain lake, writing my mom and
letting her know the why of "i will not be up, just yet' and
need to sort things out. Then I
reached the end of the letter, the only THOUGHT on my mind was
calmness, and ending the letter. (email). when
I was about to sign my name,
I typed without even thinking
B****H
to refer to mom.
then i suppose my other mind was hoping to
sign off with "S"

It really woke me up as to how much she has
wrecked me. "help"!!!.

I could use a mentor to calm my thoughts when I need to
know what to do. I did join adopt a mom,"dad",
but it is so hard now a days to instill GOOD habits to
learn how to live life well.

(I am imagining a Uncle Sam poster "I WANT YOU" that says"

"I want your hugs". ha ha.

I hope you are all doing well; I also hope you have wonderful
parents who support you emotionally. Struggling with
mental issues without that support sucks.

"S"