i was on meds many years ago and ended up in the hospital for emergency surgery and was there for five days and didnt have my meds so didnt bother getting back on them. i was off meds for five years and my mental health got progressively worse. my greatest fear all my life was ending up in the loony bin. well i did. i had a complete breakdown. the university psychiatrist locked me up. she had the cops transport me to hospital from the clinic. its a rule that you have to be handcuffed to be in a cop car. this was very traumatic for me. it took over 2 1/2 years to find the right med to stabilize me. despite being very antimed, i take my meds everyday because i never want to be that bad again. i read all these posts on PC, see all these people struggling with suicidal depressions and rapid cycling to remind me where i came from, to remind me why i stay on my meds. i cant go back there. i barely survived it. it is worth the few pills i take a day to not relive that misery.