i don't know how to make my husband understand what's going on. he just doesn't get it. i try to protect him by putting on a show. when i try to talk to him about it, he gets worried that it's his fault. i don't want to scare him, but i want him to be more aware of the fact that i'm going thru hell right now. i just want to curl up in a ball and die. i'm so sick of life. why do i keep myself going thru hell when i can just end it? i couldn't cause that pain to those who love me, but a girl can wish... something is eating me up inside, and it's gettin bigger...