When I first started having panic attacks all I ever read was "just take deep breaths" over and over. It never helped me much. Since I've almost got over having the attacks I just have a lot of gad. But to answer your question, the thing that helped me with the short breaths and thinking youre gonna die because you can't breathe. The best thing I found was to just tell yourself. This is just anxiety. It's anxiety that's causing this. So once you can except that it's just a panic attack and nobody in history has died from a panic attack it will eventually start to let up. Very tough to do at first. I'm sorry you're having such a tough time with your family right now. I hope this helps some at least.