obviously there is some part of my mind that is aware enough to admit it!
it's definitely a borderline thing...hopeless sense of self...virtually no sense of self. it's mentally suffocating being at the mercy of everything going on around me. emotionally I live in another warped dimension and I feel as though I am a year or more late for everything. reality has been crushing me into insignificance forever it seems.
when I do think for myself...it gets me and everybody by surprise...impulsive, violent, self destructive.... day, minute, hour...life changing outbursts.

I hope this year I can learn to think for myself....
I guess thats what mindfullness is about? bleh!