So I'm a 14 year old girl. I'm on 50 mgs of Zoloft for depression. I've been in a psych ward twice, once for suicidal thoughts and once for ODing. It's really hard for me to refer to myself as myself, because I don't know who I am. I feel like in my brain, there is my mind and some characters. My mind controls everything and knows everything and desides what my character acts like. It doesn't feel my characters emotions as strongly. Like metaphorically, it would be like my mind is a writer of a book, and my characters are the characters the writer is writing about. I can't tell if my mind is saying this or my character. I can't tell who knows the truth. My mind always seem logical and it always formally says things, about how I'm acting crazy when I feel like this. But I don't know if my character knows shes crazy or not. I don't really know how to explain it very well. I've been feeling this for about 3 days. Before that I was depressed, and had ideas always about characters and stuff, but now it's getting more intense. Now, I get into these fits where I want very badly to scream at myself and my mind and just tell it to stop! When I get into these fits, I have to start hitting my head a bunch. I feel like I can't fathom any of this, because it doesn't make sense! When I do bad things, like steal my sisters pot, or steal money from my mom to buy pot or cigs, my character feels really bad but my mind doesn't. Because my mind doesn't think of itself as my character I don't think. I'm not really sure though. I keep doing really scary things. I keep using pictures of people I think are good looking and use them for fakes on websites, including adult websites. Like, sex sites. And it's because I want to be them. So I talk to people on them and make up a whole story for the fake and start befriending people. I feel very weird about it. I can't stop though. I feel like therapy won't help because all it will do will heal my character, but still my evil mind will be there. When it thinks, it does not sound like a voice in my head. I think it just sounds like thinking. I'm not sure though. I'm really scared that I'm going crazy. It's like my mind can be all logical about it but my character can't! I don't know if my character thinks I'm crazy or not. I've told my psychiatrist a little about it but I don't see him again for 3 weeks, and I don't see my therapist until the 10th. I feel like I'm just growing more and more crazy. I'm so scared. Advice?