I started to reply to a post in another thread, but then was afraid of hijacking it, so I'm starting this one.
Quote:
Originally Posted by treehouse
Although we were trained to "read" other people as children, I think one of the most important things we can do as adults is to CHECK IN with the other person when we're reading things a certain way. When I felt my T "leave" in session, I checked in with him about it, and he did leave, for a second. Almost daily, I "feel" like my H is angry, and when I check in with him, he might be, but NOT AT ME...at work, at something political, at himself. Because of my history, I feel his anger and assume it's about me...and it almost NEVER is.
It's hard work to unravel what we think and feel from what's real, but until we learn to do that, we're just creating our own reality that may or may not have anything to do with the actual reality that surrounds us.
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I found this post enormously helpful. I have been called an empath, and sometimes it felt like I could *feel* emotions emanating off of another person. I believe that it is based on the absolute need to read other people in an abusive situation. However, as tree said, just because I know the emotion exists (or think I know), I don't always know WHY it exists and it may not have anything to do with me. I do need to be more consist with checking on why the other person is having that emotion.
Thanks for this reminder! My question for those who do read others' emotions so closely: do you find that you have an easier time reading negative emotions than positive ones? I can read anger, fear and frustration in less than a heartbeat. I cannot always tell, however, when someone likes me, or whether a positive emotion is real or feigned. I'm ALWAYS afraid the other person is faking like me or being in a good mood. This applies in my therapeutic relationship as well as my "real" relationships.