WOW!!!!!! Curlydee, You have many good ideas there to help. I have been to your place more than onces. How did I get out of there? I don't really know. All I can really remember is fighting back as hard as I could. It is aweful painful. But you can do it, take depression and face it head on. Push it back to were it came from. This is probobly sounding stupid but it may help. As depression tells you there is no hope, repeat this - there is hope, there is hope. Depression makes you think you can not do this, you tell it you can do this - you can do this. My hardest one, Nothing at all matters to me, this is not true and it is not reality this is the hardest one for me to over come but I always push back. Good luck, I hope you feel better soon.