Before my diagnosis I thought I was "crazy" but now I know that I have a specific disorder that can be treated. The fact that you are concerned with some of your behavior means you are not "crazy". You most likely have a disorder that is treatable with therapy and medication. I am better now than I was before I understood what caused me to act certain ways. I hope you share your post with you therapist. I think that will give you and her/him a great opportunity to discuss your concerns. It is difficult sometimes for me to bring things up in therapy. But when I write them down and give them to my therapist it opens the door for discussion. You are not crazy. You just need some help with working things out. This is a new year and a new beginning. Take care of yourself and keep talking about how you feel.