Mistakes are never bad. We cannot learn and grow unless we make mistakes; as the Arab proverb says, "All sun makes a desert".

The pain from your abortion is a wonderful gift to those of us reading. Perhaps there is a woman considering abortion who has not thought it through, does not believe the "expert's" words about how it can affect one. You have personal experience and have shared that with us. Thank you!

However, what does your SI do? Where is the learning or gift? It too is not bad; it perhaps helps you cope some, is a habit and a chemical aid. I do not feel pain or disappointment that you SI, I just feel helpless because it is your choice and I cannot think of much I can do to help you feel better about yourself and your life situation and future prospects for happiness.

Feeling helpless is painful for me but it is my pain based on my life experiences. You cannot feel my pain because it is mine and rooted in my experience just as your pain is rooted in yours. We both know pain and, for me, that sharing of common experience, of having being in pain, comforts me and the helplessness is more bearable. I wish for you to learn about the comfort to be had in sharing one's feelings and experiences which can water down and lessen the negative ones while increasing the positive ones.